What do you feel when you read those words?
Do you feel seen?
Do you feel like a deer in headlights or a performer in the spotlight?
Do you feel what people see isn’t even you? Do you feel misunderstood?
Do you want to be seen?
Do you want to hide?
Do you feel invisible when you try to be seen?
For some this is a place of joy, delight and self-expression, and for others it creates anxiety and fear.
What makes the difference and how can we find balance in the light so that we can all shine?
Last week I taught my first private breath circle with a sweet group of people who have been on this breathwork journey with me. The moment I sent out the invitation my old friend fear rose up and tried to tell me I couldn’t do it and that I was silly and stupid for believing I had anything good to share. I was bombarded by the anxiety of being seen and feeling like I had zero words to say…just heart palpitations! But, then I laid down and did my own breathwork practice and the fear melted away. I was again reminded of why this is exactly the thing I needed to be doing because if there is any technique or tool to find a way out of that kind of fear and anxiety, then it needs to be shared!
As I entered the room to set up for my first circle, I felt extreme joy, peace, love and gratitude. Gratitude to God, to my mentors, for the ability to be able to share this practice with others, and also for my journey and commitment to this work within myself. I forgot all about the thoughts I had heard earlier and felt for the first time like I was standing in my shoes and like they fit me perfectly (like Cinderella), for the first time in my entire life.
So why am I sharing this experience with you? One reason is that it is a way to continue the process of my healing by putting myself in a visible place, and hopefully by doing this it will also encourage you to do the same. There is hope for healing, change and growth and you are not alone. My writing this to you is proof that this is true!
When I was small I was so afraid of being seen that I didn’t want to go to school. I wanted to stay inside my safe cocoon of home and never come out. Somehow, I convinced my mom to homeschool me (I was the only one out of the 3 children to be homeschooled), until third grade. When I finally decided to step out into the world and go to public school, I was so afraid of being seen that I covered my face for 6 hours a day, leaving what looked like finger-shaped birthmarks all over my face. My fear was imprinted on my face for all to see.
I could sit here and tell you how much my life has changed and how magical and transformational this breathwork practice is, and all of that would be true, but what does it mean to you if you have not experienced it yourself? The truth is we all have fears. We all have desires to live full, happy, and meaningful lives. We all have things trapped inside the fibers of our bodies, being carried around like dead weight, holding us back or dragging us down and no one can unload that stuff for you. This breath practice is WORK. It calls you to action in your own life. It asks you to look and connect deeply within to the very core of who you are and to practice self care and self love in such a simply profound way. It asks you to show up for YOU. When you begin to show up for you, that is when healing can begin.
It is my hope and prayer that every living person experiences healing in their lives. There are many forms and different tools on the pathway to healing. Breathwork is one of them. This specific type of breathwork has quickly become one of the most powerful and immediate forms I have come to know and my joy becomes full circle when it is shared.
In a couple of weeks, I will be doing the 3rd Level of training with David Elliot and I am so excited. The week after that I have my first public breath circle scheduled at Prana Yoga on Friday, July 27th(7-9pm), and it is already half full. If you are reading this and something inside you feels tugged to give it a try, I encourage you to join us. For further information or to reserve your spot, please visit: https://clients.mindbodyonline.com/asp/main_enroll.asp?fl=true&tabID=8