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Being Seen

Being Seen

What do you feel when you read those words?

Do you feel seen?

Do you feel like a deer in headlights or a performer in the spotlight?

Do you feel what people see isn’t even you? Do you feel misunderstood?

Do you want to be seen?

Do you want to hide?

Do you feel invisible when you try to be seen?

For some this is a place of joy, delight and self-expression, and for others it creates anxiety and fear.

What makes the difference and how can we find balance in the light so that we can all shine?

The answers are found when we take the time to be still, connect with spirit, and tune in to the natural rhythm of life within and around us. For me, this has been found in the practice of breathwork.
Do you see the girl sitting here in this photo? In a moment she is going to open her mouth, let words come out, look around the room, and teach a class!!! WHAT ON EARTH?!

Last week I taught my first private breath circle with a sweet group of people who have been on this breathwork journey with me. The moment I sent out the invitation my old friend fear rose up and tried to tell me I couldn’t do it and that I was silly and stupid for believing I had anything good to share. I was bombarded by the anxiety of being seen and feeling like I had zero words to say…just heart palpitations! But, then I laid down and did my own breathwork practice and the fear melted away. I was again reminded of why this is exactly the thing I needed to be doing because if there is any technique or tool to find a way out of that kind of fear and anxiety, then it needs to be shared!

As I entered the room to set up for my first circle, I felt extreme joy, peace, love and gratitude. Gratitude to God, to my mentors, for the ability to be able to share this practice with others, and also for my journey and commitment to this work within myself. I forgot all about the thoughts I had heard earlier and felt for the first time like I was standing in my shoes and like they fit me perfectly (like Cinderella), for the first time in my entire life. 

So why am I sharing this experience with you? One reason is that it is a way to continue the process of my healing by putting myself in a visible place, and hopefully by doing this it will also encourage you to do the same. There is hope for healing, change and growth and you are not alone. My writing this to you is proof that this is true!

When I was small I was so afraid of being seen that I didn’t want to go to school. I wanted to stay inside my safe cocoon of home and never come out. Somehow, I convinced my mom to homeschool me (I was the only one out of the 3 children to be homeschooled), until third grade. When I finally decided to step out into the world and go to public school, I was so afraid of being seen that I covered my face for 6 hours a day, leaving what looked like finger-shaped birthmarks all over my face. My fear was imprinted on my face for all to see.

I could sit here and tell you how much my life has changed and how magical and transformational this breathwork practice is, and all of that would be true, but what does it mean to you if you have not experienced it yourself? The truth is we all have fears. We all have desires to live full, happy, and meaningful lives. We all have things trapped inside the fibers of our bodies, being carried around like dead weight, holding us back or dragging us down and no one can unload that stuff for you. This breath practice is WORK. It calls you to action in your own life. It asks you to look and connect deeply within to the very core of who you are and to practice self care and self love in such a simply profound way. It asks you to show up for YOU. When you begin to show up for you, that is when healing can begin.

It is my hope and prayer that every living person experiences healing in their lives. There are many forms and different tools on the pathway to healing. Breathwork is one of them. This specific type of breathwork has quickly become one of the most powerful and immediate forms I have come to know and my joy becomes full circle when it is shared.

In a couple of weeks, I will be doing the 3rd Level of training with David Elliot and I am so excited. The week after that I have my first public breath circle scheduled at Prana Yoga on Friday, July 27th(7-9pm), and it is already half full. If you are reading this and something inside you feels tugged to give it a try, I encourage you to join us. For further information or to reserve your spot, please visit:  https://clients.mindbodyonline.com/asp/main_enroll.asp?fl=true&tabID=8

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Published by aprillinson

Hi, I’m April. I’m just a regular human like you, trying to do my best and make the most of this one sacred life. Early on I felt a deep connection to the earth, a longing to know G-d, and always seemed to hold a curious sense of wonder in my heart, which I still carry with me today. If someone were to ask me what category my faith or spiritual practices fall into, it would be more along the lines of a Christian Mystic, or as someone in India once said, a “Krist Bhakti” (a devotee to the Christ). Although I hold my personal beliefs and experiences dear and have witnessed the Divine step down in love too deep and too profound for words, (and do wish this kind of love and grace for everyone), I also do not feel it is my calling or my job to put my beliefs on anyone else. We all have pieces of the puzzle we are trying to put together and without sharing these pieces with each other, we are less able to see the bigger picture. As the Divine gently whispered to my soul, “April, you are here to remind people that they even have a soul at all. THAT is your calling. Once they recognize this, the rest is up to them and Me. Can you do this”? To which I replied, “Here I am, send me…but please guide me every step of the way, for I am merely a beggar trying to show other beggars where to find bread.” And so, Here I Am. I found breathwork during a time when I was searching for relief from PTSD, anxiety, grief, and a deep inner well of fear. I needed help! Breathwork was the most intense, immediate, deep, and life-changing tool, that brought me to and through the trauma of a recent life threatening experience, but also though the layers of trauma that I had been carrying along with me for all of my life. Sharing breathwork with others brings me deep joy and satisfaction because I know firsthand that it works and have been a witness hundreds of times to this remaining true for others as well. All of the tools I share are tools that can be practiced on your own, are self-lead, and are ultimately tools to help you discover that all you need has already been placed inside of you – since birth – in that very first breath. Coming from a background in elderly care and hospice work, I have had front row seats to the miracle of life that is simply and profoundly held in the breath. Breath is Life and Life is given to each and every one of us, as a gift from the Divine. If you want to connect to the Source of Life and Healing, the breath is the key that can open that door for you. It is my deepest honor to be here to share this practice with you and to hold a safe and sacred space to explore this part of your journey, no matter what bend in the road you are on. If you are intrigued and wonder what this is all about or if this is for you, I personally welcome you to reach you to me. I look forward to getting to know you and to sharing this practice with you.

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