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I Used To Be A Closet Dancer…

catchyourbreath

I used to be a closet dancer.

I would feel the rhythm
In my bones
To the music,
Turn it
Up
In the kitchen,
And exorcise the darkness from my soul.
There were a few long years when
I squashed down my joy.
I stopped moving.
I held my breath.
Because somehow
after experiencing
a traumatic event
in my life,
the lie that I bought was that
if
I moved
or
breathed
I would die.
And so
I froze.
I held my breath.
I stopped moving.
Trauma can do this to us.
The hardness of life
Can do this to us.
It can steal our joy.
It can program our brains to
Believe things
That
Aren’t true
And keep us in the past,
And hold us back
from all of the
Amazing Things
We are meant to be doing NOW.
The past four years have been life changing.
And the shift
started
with
Breathwork.
Connecting
to my spirit
Through the breath,
was like sweeping out my house
Of all the stagnant,
Heavy
Baggage,
That I had picked up over my lifetime.
The trauma,
The sadness,
The anger,
The grief,
The fear…
It was all like scar tissue in my body and soul.
And
The Breath
Began to break it up.
I felt it Loosen.
I felt my wounds
Begin to Heal.
I started living more fully
And a little more
Out
In the Open.
And because I had done
Such an extensive
Inner house cleaning,
There was Space
For
ME
To experience
So Much Joy.
My Spirit Started Dancing.
My new mantra became:
Breathe. Move. Breathe. Move. Breathe.
If you are reading this and feeling like
You wish you could
Experience
This kind of freedom,
Just know I feel you.
I have been there….
For what felt like
Ever.
If you feel
Stuck,
Hidden,
Squashed,
Unmotivated,
Afraid
Empty…
Just take a deep breath
And feel
How you
Can
Expand.
At first
You can feel
Silly,
Stupid,
Self-critical,
Or overly self-aware.
Just breathe anyway.
To be in these bodies is a privilege,
Even when
Our bodies at times
May have failed us,
Or have fallen sick,
or been weakened.
They may not look the way we want them to
Or do the things they used to do…
But –
They still carry our spirits inside.
And because of this,
It’s only
Right
to honor them
By
moving
and
breathing
and
dancing
And allowing them to
explore space
in the way they were created to explore and express.
I have to be honest.
I’ve never made a New year’s resolution.
Not for any particular reason,
I just never felt compelled to do so.
I never picked a word.
I never set a goal.
But this year I did.
The word I chose was
RE-AWAKEN.
And as I set out to reawaken and explore
More of who I am
and what I’m here to learn
And share,
I’m very much aware that part of this reawakening
for me
means to dance
In the Open
And not just
in my kitchen anymore.
Are there ways you might be squashing your light?
Are you keeping yourself really small
and safe
and hidden
and calling this living?
I invite YOU
To Come,
Dance,
Move,
Breathe,
With Me This Summer.
Take some time
To Expand
Explore
And take up more Space.
Take time to Heal.
Catch Your Breath.
Breathe your life.
*Spaces are Limited and are Beginning to fill, so if you feel one is for you, please reserve your place today, by clicking here:
With joy and gratitude in my heart for YOU.
April*
🙏💜

Published by aprillinson

Hi, I’m April. I’m just a regular human like you, trying to do my best and make the most of this one sacred life. Early on I felt a deep connection to the earth, a longing to know G-d, and always seemed to hold a curious sense of wonder in my heart, which I still carry with me today. If someone were to ask me what category my faith or spiritual practices fall into, it would be more along the lines of a Christian Mystic, or as someone in India once said, a “Krist Bhakti” (a devotee to the Christ). Although I hold my personal beliefs and experiences dear and have witnessed the Divine step down in love too deep and too profound for words, (and do wish this kind of love and grace for everyone), I also do not feel it is my calling or my job to put my beliefs on anyone else. We all have pieces of the puzzle we are trying to put together and without sharing these pieces with each other, we are less able to see the bigger picture. As the Divine gently whispered to my soul, “April, you are here to remind people that they even have a soul at all. THAT is your calling. Once they recognize this, the rest is up to them and Me. Can you do this”? To which I replied, “Here I am, send me…but please guide me every step of the way, for I am merely a beggar trying to show other beggars where to find bread.” And so, Here I Am. I found breathwork during a time when I was searching for relief from PTSD, anxiety, grief, and a deep inner well of fear. I needed help! Breathwork was the most intense, immediate, deep, and life-changing tool, that brought me to and through the trauma of a recent life threatening experience, but also though the layers of trauma that I had been carrying along with me for all of my life. Sharing breathwork with others brings me deep joy and satisfaction because I know firsthand that it works and have been a witness hundreds of times to this remaining true for others as well. All of the tools I share are tools that can be practiced on your own, are self-lead, and are ultimately tools to help you discover that all you need has already been placed inside of you – since birth – in that very first breath. Coming from a background in elderly care and hospice work, I have had front row seats to the miracle of life that is simply and profoundly held in the breath. Breath is Life and Life is given to each and every one of us, as a gift from the Divine. If you want to connect to the Source of Life and Healing, the breath is the key that can open that door for you. It is my deepest honor to be here to share this practice with you and to hold a safe and sacred space to explore this part of your journey, no matter what bend in the road you are on. If you are intrigued and wonder what this is all about or if this is for you, I personally welcome you to reach you to me. I look forward to getting to know you and to sharing this practice with you.

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